Ughewwwwwwwwwww

I can't post a good visual for this one because I might throw up.

I was just helping a patron with super super super super gross gross gross long fingernails on the computer and one of his talons touched my hand.

I almost wept.

phrase origin

So I'm watching some 'Glee' last night, and at one point Kurt said the phrase "eat your heart out."  And this morning I woke up thinking about how disturbing a thing this is to say.  Seriously.  Think about it for a second.  I'll wait.

Gross.

I wanted to know the origin of this phrase, so I turned to the interwebs for help.  I'll tell ya, I wasn't thrilled with some of the answers.  A lot of people seem to think it has to do with eating a whole lot, but that sounds even grosser and I don't believe that's true at all.

The best definition came from Scorpio Tales - "The ancients believed that sorrow or envy were bad for the heart, and would eat away at it, each sigh draining blood from the organ. This idea made its way to England and became well established - Shakespeare often refers to it, as in, 'Might liquid tears, of heart-offending groans, / Or blood-consuming sighs recall his life, / I would be blind with weeping, sick with groans, / Look pale as primrose with blood-drinking sighs' (Henry VI, part 2, III.ii). We still describe someone as broken-hearted by grief. By the beginning of the 20th century, to eat your heart out was well-established as a term for pining; but more recently, it has also been used as a cry of triumph when someone else has cause to envy the speaker."

Not great, but hopefully it's enough to get my mind off the disturbing nature of it.

I'm having a difficult time choosing which picture to use for this post.  I don't want to look for pictures of people eating hearts.  Instead, as often happens when thinking hard about a particular word or phrase, it lost all meaning for me.  Which led me to this gem:

Glorious

super creepy

This dude will haunt my dreams.

full moon?

I have been at work for less than an hour this morning and have already had 3 fun encounters:

1.) Older gentleman, who I know is in his 50's because he told me, came to ask me if we have true crime books because he loves to read about real murders and has since he was 14.  I refrained from asking if he was getting ideas from them.  He goes on to show me the book he is reading and shows me the pictures in it of the murder victims and their families as well as the accused.  He was carrying a small cooler with him - I think there may have been a head in it.

2.) Another gentleman needs help figuring out how to use the webcam on his new laptop so he can take pictures of albums he wants to sell on ebay.  I figure out the process and he proceeds to take a picture of me in front of the computer.  I hurriedly figure out how to delete that picture.  I then spend quite a long time sitting next to him while he tries to remember his log-on information for ebay.  He does not remember, but rather than register again, he decides that learning how to take the pictures was enough for one day.

3.) A third gentleman is waiting to talk to me to reserve a room for a meeting he will be having here at the end of the month.  I know that I have talked to him before but could not tell you what about.  While we are working out the details of his meeting, he says that he refers to me as his 'library wife.'  Awkward laugh.  After we've made the arrangements he says that he's got to thank me for all my work and he'll take me out to dinner.  He says he knows I'm married, he's just being a nice guy.  Or he asks, do I like sports like basketball or baseball?  He gets tickets and we could go sometime.  Or sometimes he likes to organize trips to New Hampshire to go horseback riding or rafting, and he pays for it all.  "It would be cool, I know you're married."  I'm supposed to look at my schedule and get back to him with my availability when he gets back from some work trips next week.  I'll be getting right on that.  Or using my panic button for the first time the next time I see him.

fun morning

Catching the Worm

This monstrosity of a bird just flew into the window behind my desk.  Consider my pants scared off.

Update 11:30am: Bird is injured and bleeding and still on ledge.  The veterinarian's here keep coming by to look at it and debate what to do.

Update 11:47am: They are saying his wing is broken and that they can see some bone sticking out.  Asking if we have a net to snag it with.  I am considering going to hide in the bathroom.

Update 11:54am: It is apparently a Red-Tailed Hawk.  Discussion switched to getting a sack, as it might escape from the neck.  The scuttlebutt is that a blood-feather could be broken (?)

Update 11:57am:  Best quote so far - "Monkey gloves won't work."

Update 12:02pm: Animal Rescue League is on it's way.  Apparently they are bringing a net.  I'm torn between equal desires to witness this and run far away from an injured wild hawk.

Update 12:06pm: "It's pupils look OK, I don't think it has a concussion."  Who knew birds could get concussions?

Update 12:14pm: Bert's suggestions for the situation - "Suggest they knock it down gently with a beanbag gun, then catch it with a stretched out blanket.  Or better yet, google "hawk cooking recipes" and leave the window open on your computer screen for all to see."

Update 12:40pm: A fight almost broke out between two veterinarians who couldn't agree if the bird was a Red-Tailed Hawk or a Peregrine Falcon.  Popular opinion is holding at hawk.  Which reminds me that dinosaurs supposedly tasted like hawk.  Maybe Bert was onto something.

Update 12:59pm: Animal Rescue people just showed up...bird immediately flew away.  Whereabouts unknown.  Only blood splotches on the ledge remain.  A bit of a letdown, I was looking forward to see the much discussed nets in action.

Horrifying

Real quick:

I'm about to take an on-line survey and the first question is what kind of foot condition do you have.  Some of the options are going to haunt my dreams tonight.  I'd rather be set on fire than developing any of the following:

Claw Toes
Hammer Toes
Lederhose's Disease (I better cut back on my wearing of lederhosen)
Mallet Toes (completely different from Hammer Toes)

The images in my head are frightening.

Need to Clean

This weekend, a few of my favorite people from Long Island are coming up to visit us, which makes me happy for many reasons, but importantly, it gives me incentive to clean.  I'm not, uh, how you see, neat, most of the time, so it's good when life gives me a reason to pick up my junk.

However, an experience two nights ago gave me additional incentive.

Picture it - Ray and I are asleep at about 3am when suddenly - Bam - I'm awake.  I don't know what woke me, but I do know I have a tendency towards an overactive imagination that often exaggerates the worst thing possible.  While I look around trying to make sure everything is all right, I become convinced that there are 3 or 4 intruders sitting on the floor next to my bed.  I became paralyzed.  Part of my brain knew that it was absurd that people were sitting next to my bed, but I just couldn't figure out why that was so absurd.  I was so sure I could make out (fuzzy) details of the people.  I went back and forth regarding waking Ray but a.) I really felt like I couldn't move and b.) I was sure that the noise he would make on being woken up would provoke the people on the floor.

At least 10 minutes passed while I tried to convince myself that I was being ridiculous.  And then suddenly, it either got a bit brighter in the room or my eyesight miraculously improved but I realized what the "people" were: piles of clothes and books.  My desk chair.  The crate that holds my winter clothes.  Released from the spell, I could finally relax and went back to sleep.

I think maybe it might be a good idea to clean up those piles so I don't give myself cardiac arrest.