new addition

It was an exciting weekend for all of us here at Scuttlebuttering.  I'm excited to finally be able to share it as I am not very good at sitting on good news for long.  But Saturday morning I found out that my brother's wife is pregnant!  However, my parent's were planning on having dinner with M&S for Father's Day last night, along with S's parents, so that's when they were going to hear the news.  Which meant I had to be very good at not giving it away.  I am proud to say that I passed the test with flying colors and now it's official - the Berts are going to be Aunt and Uncle! 

The Happy Parents

The baby is due on Christmas Day, and we are all just over the moon with happiness.  I may be biased, but this is one lucky kid.  And I would just like the next 6 months to go a little faster, please.

My only gripe about the situation - I spent most of the Saturday and Sunday tramping around the city looking for something that had a mention of "World's Greatest Aunt" or "Best Uncle in the World" or anything along those lines.  I was willing to drop some money to get our gear in order quickly so we can start embarrassing the little tyke ASAP.  And there is nothing out there to be had.  I think this is an untapped industry.  Sure, I could have purchased things for the Mom-to-Be or New Grandmother, but what about me?  I like swag as much as the next person, and MORE than most people.  I'll have to turn to the internet, but until then, I whipped something up myself.

This will do until to announce things to the world until I can find something more suitable.

Congratulations again and again to my bro and sister-in-law.  Bert and I could not be even a little bit more happy for you guys.

so they're not alive?

There's a woman who works here part-time and I have trouble figuring out what exactly her job is, other than trying to do other people's jobs.  She got into a huge argument with a temporary librarian my first week here and made the biggest deal of it and was smack talking this librarian to the other people working here.  Highly professional.  I do not care very much for this woman, because, again, I don't think she actually does her job and she keeps trying to interfere with mine.  She has roped kids into doing her work for her, she yells at the teens when I don't think they're doing anything wrong, and she's just kind of a busybody.

But, man, is she fascinated and confused by zombies.  Each month I have been setting up a display based on a theme for that month.  April is National Poetry Month, so I set up a display of poetry books in the YA section.  And this month, I was having trouble finding a good theme, until I read somewhere that May is Zombie Awareness Month.  I thought that was pretty awesome and something the kids might dig, so I collected a bunch of books and movies about zombies and set up my display.

Apparently, this woman has never heard of zombies before so every time she comes in she asks me more questions about them.  She doesn't understand that they are undead, confuses them with vampires, and asks me if this is something that kids like.  The questions have been going on for a month, and it's like talking to a 4 year old, I really don't know how to answer them anymore.  She keeps bringing me books and asks if they're about zombies.  Today she told me she did some research on them and found out that they come back from the dead and was so proud of herself for knowing that factoid.

It's just been a bit bizarre and she won't let it go, so I'm rather looking forward to May being over.  I hope my next display isn't as confusing.

What is a zombie?

bootylicious

I was just yelled at by an extremely agitated older male patron because two of the pictures of Beyonce that he had printed off of the internet did not print out as he wanted. 

I had a difficult time understanding what he wanted me to do.  It seemed that he wanted reimbursement for how the pictures came out, but as I was pretty sure they came out incorrectly due to user error and not through any fault of our equipment, I was not going to do that.  However, he was quick to inform me that he's got a $40,000 car out in the parking lot, he doesn't care about getting $1 back.  He was yelling at me and he wasn't happy when I said he needed to calm down or I would have to ask him to leave.  I said I would be happy to re-print his pictures, but when I went to do so, being guided by the website address printed on the bottom of the pages he had given me, he accused me of watching what he was doing on-line.

They weren't even naked pictures of Beyonce.  What was this dude getting so worked up over?  He must be crazy in love with her.

All right, I do understand why he was so worked up. Damn you, Beyonce, for putting us mere mortals to shame.

the color of cheese

I had two questions for my loyal readers while I was driving into work this morning, but now I can only remember one.  I hope for your sake I remember the other.

I've been a big cheese eater my whole life, and my lunch of choice as a kid used to be American cheese sandwiches.  Sometimes on the weekend, my dad would fancy it up and grill them.  I know, we really broke new ground there.  When I was very young, I remember the slices of American cheese were always yellow and then at some point my dad started coming home with white American cheese.  He always ordered the cheese from the same deli, and I remember being uncertain by this new color of the cheese and I didn't eat it for awhile. 

However, nowadays, all you can get is white American cheese.  Sure, they sell yellow Kraft singles, but I always thought those were highly weird and I'm not convinced that's real cheese.  My question is, why did the cheese change color?  Was it an anti-chemical thing?  Can you in fact still buy 1/2 pound of yellow American cheese?  Maybe I just haven't been paying attention at the deli counter.

I hate when it's wrapped in plastic

Snow Day Fail

It's really the worst having to get ready for work while your husband sinks back into slumber, happily returning to his dreams after receiving news that his office is closed for the day.  Due to snow that we didn't get.

I'm super cranky.  And this day is just not ending.

Winter's the Worst

Creepy Christmas

My least favorite holiday song is the classic "Baby, It's Cold Outside."

Deano

For a long time I thought I was the only one who found this song disturbing and predatory.  But thanks to the wonder of the interwebs, I have found a slew of people who feel the same.  It's nice not to feel alone.  But seriously.  The male part in this song is outright refusing to let the female part leave his house, no matter how many times she insists or tells him that "the answer is no."  Creepy.  It doesn't even have anything to do with Christmas - why must this song be played so often?

The runner-up, is of course, the delightfully absurd "Christmas Shoes."  But this song is so ridiculous, that I think I actually get great enjoyment out of it.  They made a TV movie out of it, for Pete's sake.  Rob Lowe, you are better than this.

Oh, Rob Lowe

Oh, this song just makes me laugh.  But what about you, dear readers - are there any songs or holiday movies that you find creepy or extremely irritating?  I don't know if there are any other songs about date rape like good old "Baby, It's Cold Outside" but I'm sure there are equally inappropriate topics.

Cave man

<rant>So I recently got into those show "House Hunters" on HGTV.  And I mean, like, into it - I've watched at least 20 episodes in the last 4 days.  I watched two episodes last night, but had to turn it off partway through the second because I was getting too riled.  The reason: man caves.

I have just discovered that I find this phrase and idea fairly offensive.  On each of the shows I watched last night, both husbands expressed their need for a spot for their man cave in their new home, and were willing to sacrifice a lot to get the perfect "man cave" space.  The second guy was so absurd and kept being dismissive of these amazing houses, that were perfect in every other way, because his cave wasn't going to be big enough.  At no time did either of the women express a need for their own room or private area of the house.

I don't understand where this theory came from that men deserve their own special place in the house where women are not quite welcome.  But I do not care for it.  I have never considered myself a very vocal feminist, but something has snapped.  Down with man caves, sister suffragettes!</rant>

Votes for Women!

Elevator Etiquette #1

lulu.com

So someday, I'm going to teach a class on elevator etiquette.  It will be part of a series that might go on to discuss escalators, or even moving walkways (just stay to the right if you're not going to be walking, guys).  But I feel very strongly about how people should behave in elevators and I unfortunately spend a lot of time fuming over this topic.

The main issue I have been fixed on, is a new phenomenon for me.  While I have seen it happen elsewhere, rarely does a week go by at work that I do not encounter it.  "It" being I get on an elevator, someone gets on after me, and they don't push a button.  I work on the top floor of my building - there's nowhere else for them to go.  Once we get to my floor, they laugh likes it's the funniest thing in the world and press the button for their floor and go back down.  But this happens every week!  With different people!  There are supposed to be really bright people at this Institution.  I just don't understand this at all.  At least ask me to push the button for your floor for you.

Argh.  I'm getting riled.  Elevator Rule #1 - Make sure the button for your floor is pressed.  I'd hope this would be a commonly known axiom, but I guess we have to start at the beginning.

The First

So, I've been a bit bored lately.  I've decided the thing that is missing in my life is a blog.  That is a lie.  But I figure it's something to entertain me for a short span of time, at least.  We'll see how long it lasts, and I don't think I'll publicize it for awhile until I see what sort of commitment I have.  I don't really have much to say, no particular topic in mind.  This will probably be a hodge podge of random thoughts about life, movies and books and the like.

My first thought - the sun.  Does anyone else think it's super annoying?  It wakes me up in the morning, it's crazy hot, and as I was driving to the library tonight it was making a concerted effort to blind me.  And it nearly won.  But not this time, friends, oh no, not today.